Timothy,

It’s so hard to tell people you are doing fine when you feel like your heart is collapsing from the weight of your attractions and need for affection. It probably feels like you are so alone, and that if anyone knew the real you, you would be rejected. Or maybe you want to reject yourself because of how you’re feeling.

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I get it and know what it’s like. I want to tell you that behind all of this is a real, genuine, and good desire to be known and loved. Every guy needs friendship, to be heard, and to be encouraged to know that he’s got what it takes. I’d love to hear your story, Timothy, and there are a lot of men out there who will see the value of your friendship. What you have to offer as a man, and as a friend, is valuable. Believe others when they say, “Timothy, you are my brother. I love you, and you are my friend.” They really mean that, and you’re going to hear that sooner than you know.

The same sex-attraction seems like a desire that must be fulfilled. But it won’t ever be enough, because it isn’t who you were designed to be. From birth, God destined you to be a man that is deeply known and free, not a servant to the feelings you attach to any attractions. It’s hard to feel like you can grasp that right now, but when you see what I see in you, and what God sees in you, you will realize you’ve already got what it takes to walk in freedom without shame.

I want to encourage you in this: you will see clearly, and you can run well. God did not mess up when he made you, and what you’re going through with same-sex attraction isn’t a surprise to him. No, he sees you and has great confidence that as you walk with him, you will be like iron in the forge. At first, it might be scorched in the flames of adversity, then struck with powerful blows, but the end result is a sharp blade or tool that is useful in the hands of the maker. Timothy, that is you. Be filled with courage, my friend. The enemy has come against you, but no weapon against you will prevail. Jesus knows you by name and is the friend that sticks closer than any brother on earth. He laid down His life for you because you meant so much to him. And even now, He is preparing brothers and a family for you that want to run the race with you and build you up.

As a final thought: don’t let this same-sex attraction rob you of your dreams. It’s okay if there are attractions you don’t like. They aren’t you, and they can’t stop you from reaching the good desires and passions of your soul, those which the enemy seeks to destroy. That right does not belong to him, so don’t give it to him. Go with confidence into a bright future, trusting God who is with you. Take care, my friend, and know that I’m with you if ever you need someone to hear you out. All journeys worthwhile are hard, but you are not alone.

Noah