This question began a conversation which played on repeat in my head. It started when I walked into the gym, the boardroom, or the sanctuary. I silently asked it of my coach, boss, and pastor.
I couldn’t shake it.
It formed in my mind when someone spotted me on the bench press, as I shared a design concept to my team, and each time I considered voicing my same-sex attractions.
It stuck because it was more than a question. It was a declaration. Each time I asked it, I was actively telling myself I was inadequate, inferior, and unqualified. Those lies embedded deeper.
These three actions took the power out of it. Now, it rarely surfaces.
- I decided to believe that what God says about me is true.
- I let the question arise without attaching to it.
- I chose different questions.
God made me. What he makes is very good. He has given me all I need for life and godliness. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
I choose to believe those truths before walking into a room. I’ll bring them to mind, knowing they won’t always feel true. I’ll observe contradictory thoughts and questions and let them hang out without pushing them aside, while aligning my posture and intention with the truth.
And while I can’t always help the automatic questions that pop into my head, I can choose to silently ask different ones. I like these:
- “You’re for me, aren’t you?”
- “How can we succeed together? What can we create?”
- “What are you needing right now?”
Finally, if none of that works, I’ll let the pesky question trigger me to turn to God and direct the question to him. I’ll get a resounding “No.” Whether it feels true or not, I’ll have seen His face and heard his voice.
Taking these actions will be a gift to others. They will enjoy the certainty I’ll bring to the room rather than an air of self-doubt. I’ll be primed to assure them of their worth and give them permission to set aside that common question. I’ll be open to the blessings they want to give me, not cheating them the opportunity.
Can you relate? What question do you want to ask instead of that automatic one?