When my dad entered the gay lifestyle, he felt relief. He didn’t have to live in the tension of same-sex attraction and a traditional lifestyle. He no longer had to worry if people discovered his attractions. He wasn’t hiding anymore. His fear of missing out was gone. He could express himself fully with people that “got him” and welcomed him. The tension he had lived in was uncomfortable.
But at the end of his life, when his level of discomfort was the greatest it had ever been, he shared that leaving my mom was the worst decision he had made. He wished he had stayed uncomfortable. He wished he had valued his blessings rather than escape discomfort.
My wife, when the idea of motherhood was uncomfortable, closed herself off to it. She decided she wouldn’t have children to ensure she avoided hurting them. But God asked her to stay uncomfortable. To be open to whatever he may bring, trusting that he would provide her with what she needed for whatever role he called her into.
Then, when we were told we couldn’t conceive, she was tempted to turn from God in anger. It was vulnerable to stay open to believing he was good. But she stayed in the discomfort of trusting God because she was convinced He was what was best.
And I wouldn’t have her as a wife if I hadn’t stayed open to marriage despite my fears and insecurities regarding my lack of arousal and interest in women. I had to step beyond my comfort zone to believe it was possible.
It is in the uncomfortable places of life that we grow. Our faith deepens, vulnerability and connection are cultivated, and we get stronger.
When you stay open instead of closing off, you give yourself permission to hope, to dream, to love, to fail, to get hurt, and to rise again. That is the stuff of life. I wouldn’t trade it.
Where is God calling you to lean into discomfort, learn from it, and trust Him in it?
You’ve got this.