It would be naive and harmful to pretend the abuse of my childhood didn’t happen or that its effects weren’t real. It brought confusion, stunted my growth into manhood, and led me to seek validation from unhealthy sources.

But it’s not the liability I told myself it was.

I thought others would get infected by the trauma I had experienced. That my brokenness would break them in some way. That’s not the case.

Our past experiences shape who we are, but they don’t have to define us. Reflecting on past challenges, mistakes, and traumas can bring up feelings of regret, shame, or powerlessness. However, by choosing to rewrite these narratives in a more empowering way, we can transform our past into a source of strength and wisdom. We can take practical steps to reframe our past, harness our experiences, and create a more empowering story for the future.

The Power of Narrative

Our experiences themselves don’t determine our future – it’s the stories we tell ourselves about these experiences that hold the power. By recognizing that we have the ability to change our narratives, we can start to shift our mindset from one of limitation to one of possibility.

The story you tell yourself about your past directly influences your present and future. See where Christ was in it all along. Just because I felt alone doesn’t mean I was.

Acknowledge and Reflect

Before we can rewrite our past, it’s crucial to acknowledge and reflect on it honestly. This means accepting what happened and how it made us feel, without judgment. Journaling, therapy, coaching, or talking with a trusted friend can be valuable tools.

Identify Empowering Lessons

Even in the most difficult experiences, there are lessons to be learned. By identifying these lessons, you can transform moments of pain into opportunities for growth. Ask yourself: What did this experience teach me? How did it make me stronger or more resilient?

Every challenge holds a lesson. Embrace the lessons, and let them guide you towards your God-given potential.

Reframe the Narrative

Once you have identified the lessons, you can reframe your narrative. Instead of viewing past experiences as something that diminished you, view them as stepping stones that contributed to your growth and strength. Use positive language and focus on your resilience. Rather than telling myself “I am weak because I didn’t have a father that affirmed my masculinity,” I now say, “I am strong for having walked through trauma. I can share that strength with others.”

Embrace Forgiveness

Holding onto resentment or guilt can prevent us from moving forward. By choosing to forgive yourself and others, you can release the emotional hold of the past and create space for new, empowering experiences.

Take Empowered Action

Rewriting your past is not just about changing your mindset – it’s about taking empowered actions that align with your new narrative. Set goals that reflect your growth, pursue activities that bring you joy and connect you with Christ, and surround yourself with supportive people.

Your actions today shape your story for tomorrow. Choose actions based on an empowered narrative to create the future you want.

Your Next Chapter

Your past is a chapter in your life’s story, not the whole book. By consciously choosing to rewrite your narrative in a more empowering way, you can transform past challenges into sources of strength and resilience. Remember, you’re the author of your story, not your circumstances. With every new day, you have the power to write a new chapter filled with growth and possibility. And I guarantee there are plenty of folks in your corner who will endorse it. I know I will.