What do you turn to when you want to feel alive, strong, Inspired, settled, connected, or safe?
For so many of us, it’s easy to reach for something external—porn, social media, Netflix, food—hoping it will give us that quick hit of the feeling we’re chasing. But here’s the truth: those things might give us a fleeting sense of relief or excitement, but they leave us feeling emptier, more disconnected, and frustrated in the long run.
What if I told you that you don’t need anything outside of yourself to feel those things? What if you could choose to feel alive, strong, inspired, and connected—right now, in this moment?
The Feelings You’re Really Chasing
When we turn to things like porn or endless scrolling, we’re not just chasing the thing itself. We’re chasing the feelings we think it will give us. We’re chasing aliveness, strength, inspiration, connection, and safety. And you know what? That makes sense. Those are beautiful feelings to want. Those are feelings we were designed to crave.
Think about it: God created us as emotional beings. He wired us to desire these feelings because they reflect His nature. God is life. God is strength. God is peace. God is love. When we’re chasing those feelings, what we’re really chasing is Him. We’re chasing the fullness of life He designed us to experience.
The problem is, we’re looking for those feelings in the wrong places. Porn promises aliveness, but it leaves you feeling empty. It offers escape, but it doesn’t bring true peace. It’s like drinking salt water when you’re thirsty—it can never satisfy.
It’s Okay to Want Those Feelings
Here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear: it’s okay to want to feel alive, strong, inspired, settled, connected, and safe. That desire isn’t wrong. It’s not sinful. It’s how God designed you.
The problem isn’t the desire—it’s where we go to fulfill it. When we turn to things like porn, we’re trying to meet a God-given need in a way that disconnects us from Him. But when we choose to pursue those feelings in alignment with His design, we’re not just improving our lives—we’re honoring Him.
When we say, “God, I trust You. I trust that You created me to feel these things, and I trust that You can help me experience them in a way that’s real and lasting,” we’re stepping into a deeper relationship with Him. We’re saying yes to His plan for our emotional and spiritual health.
Choosing Your Feelings as a Way to Honor God
So how do we do it? How do we choose those feelings in a way that honors God and connects us to Him? It starts with recognizing that those feelings are already available to us. They’re not something we have to chase or earn—they’re gifts from God.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” These aren’t just feelings we have to muster up on our own—they’re gifts of the Spirit. When we invite the Holy Spirit into our lives, He helps us cultivate these emotions. He helps us choose them, even when it’s hard.
And here’s the best part: when we choose those feelings, we’re not just honoring God—we’re connecting with Him. Philippians 4:8 gives us a roadmap for this: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
When we focus our minds on what’s good and godly, our emotions follow. We start to feel more peace, more joy, more strength—not because of our circumstances, but because we’re aligning our thoughts with God’s truth.
Practical Tools to Choose Your Feelings
Now, let’s get practical. How do we actually choose those feelings in the moment? How do we align our emotions with God’s design? Here are a few tools you can start using today:
- Set an Intention for Your Day
Every morning, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” Write it down. Then, throughout the day, check in with yourself and ask, “Am I creating that feeling? If not, what small shift can I make to align with it?” - Anchor Your Feelings to Actions
Think about the last time you felt truly alive, strong, or connected. What were you doing? Who were you with? How can you recreate that feeling in a small way today? Maybe it’s a walk outside, a quick call to a friend, or even just pausing to breathe and reflect. - Reframe Your Triggers
When you feel the urge to turn to something external—like porn, food, or social media—pause and ask yourself, “What feeling am I chasing right now?” Then, ask, “How can I create that feeling in a healthier, more intentional way?” - Visualize Your Ideal Emotional State
Close your eyes and imagine yourself at your absolute best—feeling alive, strong, connected, or whatever emotion you’re chasing. What does that version of you look like? How do they carry themselves? What are they doing? Spend 2-3 minutes each morning visualizing this version of yourself and let that emotional state guide your day. - Name It to Tame It
When you’re feeling off, take a moment to name the emotion you’re experiencing. Say it out loud: “I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m feeling disconnected.” Research shows that labeling your emotions reduces their intensity and gives you the clarity to choose a new feeling. - Use Movement to Shift Energy
Sometimes, the fastest way to change how you feel is to move your body. If you’re feeling stuck or low, do 10 jumping jacks, take a brisk walk, or stretch for 5 minutes. Movement releases endorphins and helps you shift into a more positive emotional state. - Invite the Holy Spirit into Your Day
Throughout the day, pause and say, “Holy Spirit, help me.” It’s that simple. The more you invite Him in, the more you’ll feel His presence guiding your emotions.
A Call to Action
Your emotions are a gift from God. They’re not something to fear or suppress—they’re something to steward. When you choose to focus on what is true, noble, and praiseworthy, you’re not just improving your life—you’re honoring the One who created you.
And when it feels hard, remember this: the Holy Spirit is with you. He’s your helper, your guide, your strength. This week, I challenge you to ask yourself every morning, “What do I want to feel today?” Then, invite the Holy Spirit to help you create those feelings. Because when you do, you’re not just choosing your feelings—you’re choosing to live in the fullness of God’s design for your life.
Lastly, remember this: You aren’t defined by your temptation to turn to lesser things to feel good. You are defined by the One who calls you His, and He invites you to be alive in Him—not just for eternity, but in every moment.
You’ve got this—because God’s got you.