I asked a friend recently, “If you are vulnerable with someone and get hurt, is it worth it? Is it possible you could be better off for being vulnerable even though the outcome wasn’t what you desired?” He responded, “No, I have been hurt enough.” My heart broke for him.

I get it. It is hard to put yourself out there not knowing what you’ll encounter. My heart was heavy for him not only for the hurt he experienced but also for the aliveness he is missing out on by prioritizing protection. I want more for him and for myself than self-protection offers.

In life, we know that acceptance and reciprocation of vulnerability are not always encountered. It has been easy for me to keep my cards close to my chest out of fear of being hurt, but doing so kept love and connection at arm’s length.

While we want to be wise and not “throw our pearls before swine,” healthy risk without expectation is empowering. The practice of being vulnerable is a reward in itself. It leads us to become more connected, compassionate, and confident individuals. Below are tangible benefits:

1. Empowerment Through Action

• Building Confidence: Each act of vulnerability builds inner strength and confidence even if it isn’t reciprocated. By taking proactive steps, we gain a sense of control over our actions and emotions.
• Personal Growth: Over time, these repeated efforts contribute to personal growth. They help confront and overcome fears, thereby fostering resilience and adaptability.

2. Emotional Intelligence

• Self-Awareness: Practicing vulnerability enhances self-awareness. It allows us to be in touch with our emotions and understand our reactions better.
• Empathy Development: These practices foster empathy, as being vulnerable helps us appreciate and validate our own and others’ emotional experiences.

3. Internal Benefits

• Authentic Living: Consistent vulnerability practice aligns with living authentically. It reinforces that being true to ourselves, aligned with our identity in Christ, is invaluable, irrespective of external validation.
• Reduced Fear of Rejection: Regular exposure to vulnerability reduces the fear and sting of rejection over time. It normalizes the experience and builds a thicker emotional skin.

4. Healthier Relationships

• Breaking Barriers: Vulnerability breaks down emotional barriers, promoting deeper and more meaningful relationships.
• Trust Building: Even if not every attempt is reciprocated, those that are will be built on genuine trust and connection.

5. Mental Well-Being

• Emotional Release: Expressing vulnerability is a form of emotional release, reducing internal stress and promoting mental well-being.
• Positive Reinforcement Cycle: Each positive experience, no matter how small, can create a positive reinforcement cycle that encourages further attempts at connection.

In her most famous TED Talk, Brene Brown, Author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, says this:

“This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen – deeply seen, vulnerably seen – to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee, to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, ‘“Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?,’ just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, means we can say, ‘I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.’”

Let’s keep pushing forward in vulnerability, knowing that every step we take in vulnerability and connection is a step toward greater empowerment and authenticity.